Friday, January 28, 2011


So I was chatting with my mom and mentioned a friend was thinking of hosting a baby shower for me in May. She got a sour look on her face and asked why May was chosen. I explained that I need to be able to fly, etc. and with the blood clotting issues I was doubtful I could do so in the summer, closer to my due date.

She crinkled her nose again even though I confirmed I was happy with the month.

Then she asked if it would be in TX or CA and I explained CA since I don't know anyone (literally) in TX.

More nose wrinkling.

I was sort've shocked at her reaction so I asked, incredulously, 'So were you not planning to go?'

She proceeded to count the months til May and the just shrugged her shoulders.

I can't lie-I'm hurt.

My dad is stoked for his first grand baby but short of lecturing me, my mom hasn't shown much interest. I know she has other (important) things on her mind but... I feel slighted.

I feel like since she showed such a negative reaction that if she suddenly decided she wanted to come, I wouldn't even be into it because I would feel like she was going against her will or for the wrong reasons.

I'm not really pregnant enough to be thinking of showers or registries but considering the amount of work that would need to go into coordination, it is prudent to think on the most basic level.

Hopefully I am reading into it all wrong and this is all in my head. I'm doubtful but I can hope. It really feels like my pregnancy (her first grand baby) is an afterthought. I'm over feeling that way. From today forward, I am going to rejoice and celebrate and give myself the attention I obviously won't be getting elsewhere. I am lucky to have people who are interested and who do want me to feel special so I am choosing to focus on those warm feelings.

Blugh. I am so over myself. Hopefully it is the pregnancy hormones because my last couple of blogs are bumming me out and I don't want to turn into a whiner. Nobody likes a whiner. Time to put on my big girl panties and move on.

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