Just a quick "thank you" for all the great suggestions on meeting new people. Lincoln and I are taking a Kindermusik class in exchange for babysitting for the instructor (my girlfriend from church) and we had a lot of fun. Even being out of the house was nice!
Lincoln really loved the curriculum (as far as I could tell from a 9 week old, LOL) so we are going to look into Music Makers since we live literally next door to an LDS church. Nothing beats FREEEEE!
And of course, meetup.com and the library. The libraries here are gorgeous so I am hoping to get started on instilling a love of reading with Lincoln very soon.
Lastly, I have to address the issue of PPD. I definitely have that on my radar, especially given my prior history of depression. Thank you for gently reminding me that my feelings could be related to that.
I have awesome cyber friends/readers!
P.S. RIP Steve Jobs. I know this doesn't fit with the theme of my post but I seriously HATE cancer.
Showing posts with label Friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friendship. Show all posts
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Lonely
I've been spoiled the last few years with some truly amazing friends. When I moved to Texas, I met even more amazing friends. As forewarning, this isn't a gripe about anyone in my life not doing enough for me so please don't think me an ingrate. I'm just...lonely.
My friendships here are different from what I am used to. The women I met here are loving, beautiful, smart, funny. Everything you would want in a friend. They love on me and my son and I am very thankful for them. But they're different types of friendships than what I had in California.
I miss the invites for lunch, laughing over a rare cocktail (I'm obviously not drinking now anyways, as I'm nursing, it's just the idea), I miss having other couples over for dinner and being invited over. It's harder for me to entertain here since I live with my family but surely if I were invited somewhere I would make an excellent dinner guest. A girl's night would do wonders for my spirit.
I want so desperately to acclimate but I must confess to being incredibly depressed. I don't want to be one of those needy, clingy people who invites themselves to things. And just as I had in California, I assume most of my friends have their long-standing inner circles and it is awkward to infiltrate. That's not to say anybody has been uninviting, it just becomes a matter of if it is a church activity, I am invited, but I don't get any invites for non-church stuff.
And really, my friends here bring a lot to my life and I don't expect them to be my entertainment committee. It really isn't about people not doing things for me, I'm just trying to communicate that I understand that most adults have different groups they socialize and sometimes it isn't often they mix. I don't want my friends to feel put upon and I don't want to invite myself to things.
Spending so much time indoors with Lincoln hasn't helped. I wouldn't change it but I do have some cabin fever. If I had few invites before, I have none now. Lincoln got an invite for a little friend's birthday party and even though I was in pain I busted my ass to make it there because I was so desperate for social interaction.
I just feel so sad. I'm starting a Kindermusik class with Lincoln this week and I will definitely try to find a mom's group on meetup.com but people have only had negative reactions to the mom's group idea thus far. Apparently the moms can be pretty clique-y. I know some women say they're closer friends with males but I am the opposite. I love female friendship/companionship. I just want someone to get a pedicure with or share a meal. I'm just going to try the groups and put myself out there, even if it turns out to be a bad idea. I figure I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I don't want the friends I do have here to feel burdened by me so it is imperative I find something else to occupy my friendship longings.
I just feel so sad and so lonely. It's crippling, really.
Part of my problem is I need to stop living in the past and remembering California. California is over and we live here now. Rob and I feel like we've been trying so incredibly hard to make friends that we must come across as desperate. Nobody wants to hang out with that! I just need to focus on making new friendships. Summer was practically awful for us because we had no invites for the 4th of July, the long holiday weekends, etc. One time someone invited us to their pool but otherwise we had not one BBQ, etc. We both have birthdays coming and I think we are not admitting to each other how depressed it makes us thinking we might not get to celebrate.
OK, time to get out of my own head and end this post. If you made it this far, you deserve a cyber cookie, LOL.
My friendships here are different from what I am used to. The women I met here are loving, beautiful, smart, funny. Everything you would want in a friend. They love on me and my son and I am very thankful for them. But they're different types of friendships than what I had in California.
I miss the invites for lunch, laughing over a rare cocktail (I'm obviously not drinking now anyways, as I'm nursing, it's just the idea), I miss having other couples over for dinner and being invited over. It's harder for me to entertain here since I live with my family but surely if I were invited somewhere I would make an excellent dinner guest. A girl's night would do wonders for my spirit.
I want so desperately to acclimate but I must confess to being incredibly depressed. I don't want to be one of those needy, clingy people who invites themselves to things. And just as I had in California, I assume most of my friends have their long-standing inner circles and it is awkward to infiltrate. That's not to say anybody has been uninviting, it just becomes a matter of if it is a church activity, I am invited, but I don't get any invites for non-church stuff.
And really, my friends here bring a lot to my life and I don't expect them to be my entertainment committee. It really isn't about people not doing things for me, I'm just trying to communicate that I understand that most adults have different groups they socialize and sometimes it isn't often they mix. I don't want my friends to feel put upon and I don't want to invite myself to things.
Spending so much time indoors with Lincoln hasn't helped. I wouldn't change it but I do have some cabin fever. If I had few invites before, I have none now. Lincoln got an invite for a little friend's birthday party and even though I was in pain I busted my ass to make it there because I was so desperate for social interaction.
I just feel so sad. I'm starting a Kindermusik class with Lincoln this week and I will definitely try to find a mom's group on meetup.com but people have only had negative reactions to the mom's group idea thus far. Apparently the moms can be pretty clique-y. I know some women say they're closer friends with males but I am the opposite. I love female friendship/companionship. I just want someone to get a pedicure with or share a meal. I'm just going to try the groups and put myself out there, even if it turns out to be a bad idea. I figure I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I don't want the friends I do have here to feel burdened by me so it is imperative I find something else to occupy my friendship longings.
I just feel so sad and so lonely. It's crippling, really.
Part of my problem is I need to stop living in the past and remembering California. California is over and we live here now. Rob and I feel like we've been trying so incredibly hard to make friends that we must come across as desperate. Nobody wants to hang out with that! I just need to focus on making new friendships. Summer was practically awful for us because we had no invites for the 4th of July, the long holiday weekends, etc. One time someone invited us to their pool but otherwise we had not one BBQ, etc. We both have birthdays coming and I think we are not admitting to each other how depressed it makes us thinking we might not get to celebrate.
OK, time to get out of my own head and end this post. If you made it this far, you deserve a cyber cookie, LOL.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Exciting!
This weekend is our first baby shower and we are super excited! We are flying to California tomorrow and while there is a lot to do, it's the type of chores that are exciting, not tedious. Rob got a haircut, I am getting my hair done, and yesterday I got a specialty manicure that will supposedly last many weeks. Since I was laid off I stopped getting my nails and hair done with the exception of two haircuts so this is a fun, big deal for me!
If you're one of my California people, I really hope to see you on either Friday night or Saturday. I'm really excited for my shower because I will (hopefully) be getting to see some of my friends I didn't get to see on my last trip. It was so hard making a shower guest list. There were a handful of friends I wanted to invite but didn't because we aren't super tight and I didn't want anyone to think I was looking for gifts! I was really worried about the guest list because there was a debacle with the printing company (my girlfriend paid an extra fee for them to ship the printed invites directly so they'd be expedited and at least three people mentioned not receiving theirs. So upsetting!) I'm just really excited to see my friends and my mom bought me a new shirt to wear, too! Yay!
Our next shower is in about three weeks. Over fifty people are invited, and I must say with honesty that I only know a handful of them. I am excited for that shower, too, because I will get a chance to meet new people. How strange to think you'll be meeting people at what is typically an intimate event, right? Gotta love a loving church!
If you're one of my California people, I really hope to see you on either Friday night or Saturday. I'm really excited for my shower because I will (hopefully) be getting to see some of my friends I didn't get to see on my last trip. It was so hard making a shower guest list. There were a handful of friends I wanted to invite but didn't because we aren't super tight and I didn't want anyone to think I was looking for gifts! I was really worried about the guest list because there was a debacle with the printing company (my girlfriend paid an extra fee for them to ship the printed invites directly so they'd be expedited and at least three people mentioned not receiving theirs. So upsetting!) I'm just really excited to see my friends and my mom bought me a new shirt to wear, too! Yay!
Our next shower is in about three weeks. Over fifty people are invited, and I must say with honesty that I only know a handful of them. I am excited for that shower, too, because I will get a chance to meet new people. How strange to think you'll be meeting people at what is typically an intimate event, right? Gotta love a loving church!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Wow, Friends
I have an internet friend named Libelletage. She sort've flies under the radar so I hope she isn't mad at me for posting this but I wanted to give her kudos for helping me. I don't think she even reads this blog so hopefully I will be fine.
Anyway, she is really helping me with this pregnancy. Specifically, she is a nurse and has never hesitated to answer any of my questions regarding these daily injections I have to give myself. Some of it has been scary-bruising, weird pouches under the skin, etc. It's hard enough to navigate a first pregnancy, but adding heavy-duty drugs can drive a woman mad!
Anyway, she has never once complained that I am burdening her. And that's nice because I quickly feel like I am bothersome. We should all have a friend with such expertise and patience!
Whoops, gotta cut this short as the old MAC is on the fritz and my very dear friend is trying to fix it from 1,500 miles away!
Anyway, she is really helping me with this pregnancy. Specifically, she is a nurse and has never hesitated to answer any of my questions regarding these daily injections I have to give myself. Some of it has been scary-bruising, weird pouches under the skin, etc. It's hard enough to navigate a first pregnancy, but adding heavy-duty drugs can drive a woman mad!
Anyway, she has never once complained that I am burdening her. And that's nice because I quickly feel like I am bothersome. We should all have a friend with such expertise and patience!
Whoops, gotta cut this short as the old MAC is on the fritz and my very dear friend is trying to fix it from 1,500 miles away!
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