1

1 more day till (further) proof of God's love is in my arms instead of my belly.

1 more sleep, or rather, attempt at sleep till the witching hour of departing for the hospital.

1 more day of family life as two, before three!

A Quote & A Compliment

I was texting with my friend Bobbi last night about my pregnancy (she is due shortly after me with her 2nd) and she said, "It seems to be the slowest, fastest time ever." The quote was fitting. For the longest time it felt like pregnancy lasted forever, and we had plenty of time to get it together before le bebe arrives. Now, we literally have three days till he is here and it feels nothing short of surreal. Where did the time go? How is it possible we only have a few days left?

God willing I will get to enjoy a minimum of one more pregnancy after this. But regardless of the future, I can say with all honesty that this has been an amazing pregnancy. I have enjoyed every minute. Despite many negative events transpiring while I was pregnant that got me upset, my pregnancy itself has been nothing short of miraculous. I honestly didn't know if I'd ever be able to have a baby, so this easy pregnancy has been such a praised blessing.

People keep asking me if I am excited. I feel guilty for this, but I feel kind of strange about the entire thing. On the one hand, I do have some first-timer nerves. On the other, I like having him to myself inside my belly. Perhaps since his birth is so organized and because there is no element of true surprise (for which I am thankful!), I feel more like I am in the eye of the storm; we don't know what lies ahead but we do know it will be difficult and very cool. I am terribly excited to meet him and I know the joy to come is beyond my current comprehension. It could be that I am in denial, I'm not sure. I think people expect me to be either ecstatic or a complete wreck with nerves. I am ecstatic but because this has been such a terrific pregnancy I am in no rush to get it over with. Does that make any sense?

And vaguely along those lines, my dad asked me last night if I am scared. I replied, 'No.' I mean, on some level I guess I have some sense of terror (LOL) but really I am feeling calm. My dad bestowed upon me one of the best compliments Ive ever been given. He said, "That's my girl! I always thought you would've made an excellent settler. You know how to keep your wits about you." Now, I don't know if that last part is true but the people who have settled land have always fascinated me and I am thrilled by the comparison!

Manufacturers, Listen Up!

With the consensus being that crib bumpers are very dangerous and raise the risk of SIDS, I am very confused as to why manufacturers put them in bedding sets. We were told at the hospital that the baby needs to stay in our room for 6 months to be safe. So, I asked if the bumpers are to be used when baby is older, such as a pre-toddler, for their comfort. I was told, unequivocally, NO. In fact, they said older babies and toddlers shouldn't have them in cribs because they can use them to launch themselves out while climbing. Gee, that's great.

So what the heck? I've got this beautiful bedding that wasn't cheap, and I can't use 25% of what I paid for. I think the manufacturers need to get with the program. They could include either a breathable bumper in a coordinating color, or an extra sheet, AKA something useful. What a waste of money!

Randomness

I had my final ultrasound and NST this morning. Here are some shots of le bebe:





Baby gave me a run for my money and wasn't very active, but with an extremely high heartbeat during the NST so the nurse had to stay with me and get me some juice. So stressful! He had to make the last visit memorable, I think!

They are estimating his weight to be about 7.5 pounds. This means I only have one week left to try to fatten him up. Turns out I didn't gain any weight in the past week despite the added eating. I am holding strong at 17 pounds. I also got to see his little face in high resolution (I saved my tears of joy for the car, ha!) They think he won't have much, if any, hair. I really wanted a baby with troll hair but he was so precious looking I think I am OK with baldness.

I washed alllll his clothes yesterday. I started to put it away but Rob came home sick so my day ended basically right then. I also put the linens in his bassinet and crib. My to-do list is getting shorter and shorter. Slowly but surely.... My goal is to have everything done by the weekend so Rob and I can relax. Oh, and get this! Rob says to me, "I got invited to Hurricane Harbor this weekend (a water park.)" He was actually hoping I would say for him to go! He must be out of his mind. If I went into labor on my own I wouldn't even be able to call him because obviously you don't keep your phone on you on a waterslide. Not to mention, it is our last weekend together and my feelings were hurt he wanted to spend his day with co-workers. Whatever.

I don't want to end this post on a sad note so I will just say that I was so thrilled and excited to see my little man. Of course I'm partial but I thought he was beautiful!

My Belly Is An Alien Cone!

Again, these pictures are for my records, mostly. Sorry if they creep anybody out-my brothers are both appalled at the mere sight. Rob and I just laugh and laugh and laugh some more at the way my stomach distorts when I try to lift my body from a laying-down position using what used to be my abs (yes, I'm pretending like I've seen my abs in the last few years. For those of you who know me IRL, play along! Ha!) Please excuse the picture where I look possessed. I tried to edit them the best I could, but again, these are for me. Oh! And I don't know what's up with the picture where the shadow makes it look like I have a mustache but I promise I don't, LOL!

NSTs

This post is really for myself. I just wanted photo documentation of me having one of my weekly NSTs so I would always remember how thankful I am for modern medicine and the ability to carry a child to term, two things I hope to never forget or take for granted!

37 Weeks

(Don't mind the BRIGHT PINK activity center. It's a much-appreciated hand me down!)
(P.S. Rob likes when I include a photo that is "up close." )

How Far Along: 37 Weeks.

Size of baby: Watermelon. How fitting considering it looks like I'm smuggling one everywhere I go!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I didn't weigh myself out of fear for what the number would read. I'm realllllly re-thinking that stoopid idea to try to fatten my baby up...

Maternity Clothes: Oh yeah!

Gender: A beloved son!

Movement: He is still nice and busy in there. I love it! I was talking with a friend this week telling her how all cheesiness factor aside, pregnancy truly is a miracle. She adeptly replied, "It's the biggest trip you can't possibly describe!"

Sleep: I am now up to a minimum of two pee breaks per night. Ugh. Oh well.

What I miss: Nothing, really, seeing as I am in the home stretch! I only have nine more days left from here!

Cravings: I made my way back to chicken wings. No surprise there! Having them once was enough, though. None of this second trimester business of eating them three times in one week! Special shout out to Chili's for sending me a coupon for a free molten cake! Ha! Thankfully Rob ate half!

Symptoms: A BIG baby belly!

Best Moment this week: I had my first (and likely only) internal exam as well as the Strep B swab. Both were non-events. Yay! When you're pregnant people like to tell you lots of horror stories but they really only took a matter of seconds and were not painful in the least. Awkward? Yes, totally, but not painful. Bonus: they were over literally within seconds.

Interesting...

My aunt saw my on Skype today and started to cry, telling me I look the best I have ever looked. So, I had Rob take my picture. Call me vain like that! Anyhow, here I am:



And darnit if I don't feel pretty, too!

Yikes!

Less than two weeks and baby will be here. I'm still unprepared. Well, I take that back. I decided to work on organizing our papers and financial affairs before tackling the nursery. I want my ducks in a row in the event something were to happen to me. I'm not trying to be morbid, just realistic that I am having surgery and have a blood clotting disorder. If something did happen, Rob would be so stressed that the very last thing he would need is to deal with financial chaos, too.

I did buy special soap so that hopefully tomorrow I can start on organizing and inventorying. Rob has plans tonight to play softball and tomorrow he is meeting a friend for their "accountability" meeting so that leaves me two days and nights with no excuses for why things are not getting accomplished. Next week I have to go to the DMV and afterwards I don't want to do anything except relax before baby arrives. Rob also works Saturday so really I have three days. Everyone please send vibes that I can get my act together. No time like the present!

And for those of you interested, here is a glimpse of the nursery bedding:

I Thought I Was Losing My Mind!

Three weeks ago my kid flipped breach. NBD since I'm having a c/s. In the middle of the night I was woken up by an extreme pain. It hurt so bad I literally sat straight up in bed.

I looked at my stomach and I could see that my baby was in a transverse position. I've always, always said I am not one of those women who can accurately tell you where baby is positioned, which parts are which, etc. Because of this I wasn't 100% confident and thought maybe I was losing my mind. He seemed very intent on whatever he was doing in there so I switched positions hoping it would help him or encourage him to keep on moving.

Lo, I went for my weekly ultrasound this morning and the tech confirmed that he was now head down, "ready, locked and loaded." My belly looks entirely different, too. If I lay flat and use what used to be my abs to raise my body, it looks like an alien cone. I saw the doctor just yesterday and he was nowhere near being in position and in a matter of a few hours, he went and did "his thing." And dayum if it didn't hurt! Good thing this wimp isn't birthing him traditionally!

17

Well, I guess I took my task of fattening up my son to heart because at the doctor this morning they said I am up three pounds, for a total of 17. This post is more for my own memory. I would be fine with gaining 20 pounds this pregnancy so coupled with the amount of time I have left in this pregnancy, I think we will end up on track.

Uh...fingers crossed one of those pounds went to the baby, ha! I will say this: we ate like kings (pigs?) this weekend at Cracker Barrel, Starbucks and a fancy brunch place. We were determined to eat out before those days are over. Ha!

It's Getting There

The nursery is still under construction. Over the past few days I have been to ten stores in search of an appropriate rug. Alas, even with the internet, I didn't fall in love with anything. We settled on a rug from Ikea, which is amazing to me since it is extremely rare that they have any products I like.

Rob placed all the furniture and vacuumed, my mom washed the baseboards, and now I begin the tedious process of washing the bedding and all all his clothes so I can set things up. I still (desperately) need to do an inventory to see what I have left to buy. Since the majority of our clothes are upcycled from friends, I need to go through and label stuff so I can return it when the baby outgrows it.

We bought a glider and an ottoman off of Craig's List and we need to recover the cushion-it is absolutely the ugliest of the ugly but as soon as that is done I can show some pictures. I 2 weeks so I'd better get on it!

36 Weeks

How Far Along: 36 Weeks.

Size of baby: Large cantaloupe (still.)

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I haven't weighted myself yet this week. I'm sure it is a scary number. I had Starbucks for breakfast and Cracker Barrel for lunch so you do the math...

Maternity Clothes: Yup. And I got three new dresses this week from Targhetto to see me through the post-partum phase.

Gender: A beloved son!

Movement: Considering his lack of room I'd say he's still pretty busy in there doing his thing!

Sleep: I have not been sleeping at all. It isn't the peeing or the heartburn, it is the racing brain.

What I miss: Not struggling to make it in the heat. I have never been someone who thrives when it is hot but this heat has limited me severely. I also miss being able to rotate my body while driving. My range of motion seems very limited!

Cravings: None this week.

Symptoms: Last week I wore the same outfit in my 35 week picture to church and THREE people told me I was too small to be delivering in less than 3 weeks. Last night I wore a form-fitting pregnancy tank and THREE different people all asked if I was planning to deliver that very night. What a difference an outfit can make, right? So, I guess the biggest symptom is a burgeoning belly.

Best Moment this week: During my NST they kept trying to tell me I was having epic contractions on par with labor. I kept insisting I was not! I knew better than them in this instance. Turns out the sensors were picking up my breathing movements. Silly!

Guests!

Immediately after baby's birth, my MIL and BIL will be visiting; BIL is bringing his girlfriend. I am glad to see them since it has been quite a while but I am very nervous. Well, not so much nervous about my MIL, as she has given birth and knows how exhausting it can be. I have received lots of excellent advice to just focus on my baby and let everyone fend for themselves but they will be here for a week and I don't like for people to be disappointed. Under any other circumstances we'd love to go out and explore/play!

Since Rob started a new job he literally has ZERO time off. So, my in-laws will not get to see him much. My BIL is only 22 and his girlfriend is barely 21 so I am sure they are not going to want to sit around the house with me, which is not something I want, either. It will really put me on edge to have an audience. I am thinking of compiling a list of places that might interest them. This is the land of countless water parks and malls, after all!

My MIL is going to cook my favorite dish of her hers so that is exciting. Since both my parents work odd, long hours they haven't really prepared any of the foods I crave from their repertoires. If a restaurant doesn't make it, I don't get to eat it, LOL!

My FIL is coming a few days after MIL and BIL leave. I am leaving that visit up to my husband!

At all of our hospital classes they have really been driving home the "You do not need help holding your baby. You need help with cooking and cleaning" point so I am thankful that my MIL called Rob and told him she wants to make sure she is helpful, etc. It is easy for me to set boundaries with my own family because I can say what I want and know they won't be offended but I was super worried my ILs would think we didn't want them to visit, or that they were an imposition, etc. Rob and I are simply scared out of our minds to become parents. And I am scared to get into the scheme of nursing.

Everything always works out the way it is supposed to. That said, if any DFW locals know of a fun place for young twenty-somethings to venture off to, I'd love to add them to my list! Thank you for all the kind advice and encouragement of late. I keep reminding myself I only need to focus on the baby!

Random

Here are some tidbits floating in my mind today:

1. Tonight we have our final baby class at the hospital. We have taken quite a few, including Daddy Bootcamp (for Rob), Safety & CPR, and Breastfeeding 101. Tonight is Baby Care, where presumably they will tell us how to prevent dropping him and doing anything else stoopid. The cafeteria at the hospital is locally famous for having delicious food so we are thrilled to be having dinner there again. I know stereotypes abound about hospital food but their is stuff is genuinely delectable. People come from neighboring businesses just to eat there! On the night your baby is delivered they bring you steak and lobster. I, of course, will be on a liquid diet for two days but Rob is sure excited about it. He had a delicious cheese steak at last week's class and I enjoyed strawberry shortcake, LOL.

2. I was telling the ultrasound tech how nervous we are that the baby will be small due to the Heparin. During my weekly ultrasounds they don't measure for his weight because doing so week to week would be pointless. She knows how scared we are so she secretly measured to determine a guess of his weight and had the nurse give it to me. She is estimating him to be 6 pounds, 4 ounces. So tiny! This made me super sad. He doesn't get the benefit of 2 extra weeks in utero, where typically they put on the most weight, so I am bound and determined to do whatever I can to fatten him up.

3. I feel like a bag of bricks. The iron pills were helping for a while but I am hitting the wall quicker each day! I'm sure some of this has to do with being 9 months (tomorrow) and living in 105+ degree heat, but having never been pregnant before I have nothing to compare it to.

4. I realllllly need to stop procrastinating on doing the nursery. An inventory is desperately needed. I have an emotional hang-up on not having the right rug so I can put the furniture in the positions I want so I can start filling drawers. Silly, I know! My nesting instinct sucks! Ha!

5. In other news, I am starting to get super nervous. I can't believe God is going to loan me a baby. I'm so happy I can hardly stand it but I'd be lying if I didn't admit to being terrified, too. I remember a few years ago I saw my friend Carrie before she delivered her daughter. She had that gorgeous pregnancy glow and she was cool, calm and collected. I always hoped I'd be the same. Instead I am sweaty and nervous. Ha!

6. I am nervous to have out-of-town guests so quickly after delivering. I won't be in a position to play tour guide and I feel badly since Rob's brother, in particular, is viewing the trip as a summer vacation. I am also scared to try to learn to mother and nurse with an audience. People keep telling me I will lose all sense of modesty, and in many ways I have lightened up, but I am still nervous about my body being on display.

35 Weeks

Do Y'all love all the baby gear in the background? Rob was up till midnight last night with a friend assembling all the nursery furniture and this week I inventory it all and set up the room. I have a lot of work ahead of me! Nothing like waiting till the last minute! Now to our regularly scheduled programming....



How Far Along: 35 Weeks. (Picture taken at 35w3d)

Size of baby: Large cantaloupe (still.)

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 14 pounds.

Maternity Clothes: Pretttty much. i mean, I'm over 8 months pregnant so how awful must I look squeezed into too-tight clothes?

Gender: A beloved son!

Movement: Yesssss!

Sleep: Getting up like clockwork to pee. I have to make sure I don't limit my water intake out of fear of exhaustion. This comes with the territory so I just need to accept it!

What I miss: When rolling over in bed didn't threaten to toss my husband off the mattress! ;) In all seriousness, my range of motion is severely compromised. Sometimes going from a sitting to standing position requires help, LOL

Cravings: Frozen custard.

Symptoms: Soreness and nausea.

Best Moment this week: We read a few months ago that once baby can hear in utero, they will recognize voices, etc. It also said that if you listen to certain music, they will recognize it outside of the womb. My husband plays "In the Jungle" allllll the time and I am convinced the baby recognizes it. When we hold the speaker to my belly he gets very excited and today he even kicked the speaker off. There's one other song my husband plays that I don't recall the name of but the reason I am convinced those two songs are recognized is because he doesn't react to just any music, regardless of proximity of the speaker.

People Change

Before getting pregnant, I used to fantasize about how I would dress my kids, the cool baby gear I would buy, etc. I was very focused on the material aspect of having a baby. I won't lie-baby gear is cute and I wanted it all!

Obviously circumstances have changed my ability to make most purchases.

And I am so thankful.

I am thankful for the lessons I have learned from having less money. Even though ideally we would have more money, I think it has been invaluable to my personal growth to have these experiences. I am a much more appreciative, realistic person. I am more grateful and I am quicker to acknowledge my blessings.

I am currently 34w6d pregnant and I have made only one purchase, a mattress. Well, two if you count paying shipping for a free sling and nursing cover. While I still need to do an inventory (and inevitably make some purchases) I can say that we have been gifted with most everything we need. One of Rob's co-workers gave him two giant trash bags filled with clothes, many new. The clothes were from the co-worker's sister, a woman we have never even met! A friend from church also loaned us a bunch of equipment such as swings and slings. All in all, we have received a lot.

Words can't express our gratitude. The hardest part for us will be finding a way to adequately pay it forward.