17

Well, I guess I took my task of fattening up my son to heart because at the doctor this morning they said I am up three pounds, for a total of 17. This post is more for my own memory. I would be fine with gaining 20 pounds this pregnancy so coupled with the amount of time I have left in this pregnancy, I think we will end up on track.

Uh...fingers crossed one of those pounds went to the baby, ha! I will say this: we ate like kings (pigs?) this weekend at Cracker Barrel, Starbucks and a fancy brunch place. We were determined to eat out before those days are over. Ha!

"Can't Get Any Bigger"

My mom has been insisting for the past two days that I simply "can't get any bigger" and that my baby is already huge. Now, I will admit to being very large-and-in-charge. But from the perspective of weight, I have only gained 6 pounds. My grandfather even remarked that I look as though my face is thinning out, and that I already have my pregnancy "glow."

All this to say, I'm still in my second trimester! I'm very worried about my baby's growth as it is. I know my mom means well but I honestly can only hope and pray bebe continues to grow. He has a lot of growing to do before he is done baking in there! So, in the interest of full disclosure, here is a picture from today:



I chose the worst picture of those we took to illustrate my girth. My husband is not a large guy and my dress was an empire waist; I swear most of this is baby! So tell me, do you think it is humanly possible for me to grow any more?

Update

You may recall I have been agonizing over my weight. I had read somewhere that my doctor should've told me how much I was "allowed" to gain during my first appointment. She never mentioned it and hasn't mentioned it in any follow-up appointments so I followed I would ask her during my impromptu visit with her.

I started by acknowledging I was not an ideal weight when I got pregnant. Her eyes got very large and she said, "You're not big at all! Who told you that?" I told her my previous doctor had discouraged me from pregnancy till I was done losing weight. I reminded her I have only gained 4 pounds in 21 weeks.

She reiterated several times that I am allowed to gain 20-25 pounds and she further stated that due to my slow gain, she was confident I would be leaving the hospital my original size! Wow! This entire time I was expecting her to tell me to gain no more than 15 pounds! It was scary to think I could only add 11 more and I was only half-way done. Now, obviously this is not a license to pig out but it did ease my concerns.

If I'm being candid, my old doctor really shamed me. Like, a lot. I was always insecure about having to see her because she always made me feel bad about myself. I knew I had to lose weight and I was in the process of it, I didn't need the additional negativity. This is not to say I don't expect my doctors to discuss my health issues. On the contrary, I respect that they need to address any concerns. It was the frequency and means by which she did so that made me feel like scum of the Earth.

I really, really hope my new insurance is accepted by my doctor. She makes me feel like a normal person, and I adore her for that!

A Weighty Issue

Since I started out pregnant well above my ideal weight, I have been very preoccupied with not gaining too much weight. According to my own research, a woman my size should look to gain approximately 15 pounds but not much more.

Now, my doctor has not mentioned my weight at all. As mortifying as it would be, I know she would just be doing her job. According to my home scale, I have gained about 4 pounds. It doesn't seem like a lot in comparison to what some women have shared they've gained by week 21, but our playing fields are not level.

With my anatomy scan on Tuesday I am becoming increasingly paranoid that my baby is starving or will measure small/behind. I'm trying to be rational about it all, but I could really kick myself for starting this journey as a full-fledged member of Team Fat Ass; it is only adding to my stress and paranoia (which it should if I take my baby's health seriously, don't get me wrong!)

Judging by the photographic evidence my gut is growing. A lot. But according to my mom I don't look pregnant, yet I also look like I've lost weight. How is this possible? Some other friends have remarked that I do look pregnant but maybe they're just trying to make me feel good?

Prior to getting pregnant my friend Rachel made a comment that has stuck with me for about 2 years. She is a mom of two and she said that your body does amazing things while pregnant, specifically, picking and choosing where it draws from and what it uses. She was gently comforting me over my concerns about just how much weight to lose before pregnancy without stressing my body by having to lose weight twice. I must admit this baby has kindly sucked up some of my back fat. Thank you, baby! I'm still in smaller pants, etc.

On my next visit I don't get to see my actual doctor, instead I will be visiting with their nurse practitioner. I am going to pick her brain a bit and then pick my doctor's brain next month. Do you have any suggestions for questions someone in my position should ask?