An Update

I went to the doctor yesterday regarding my, ahem, "issues. Here is the conversation as best I recall it:

Dr: So, no bleeding, no pain, etc.?

Me: Nope.

(The she examines me.)

Dr: Huh.

Me: Uh...?

Dr: Well, you had one of the most severe tears I've seen. I really figured we'd be scheduling you a surgery today. I didn't think the treatment plan would work.

Me: Uh...?

Dr: Well, you're healed. I didn't think you would!

Me: I'm glad you have a good poker face! I would've been despondent at the thought of another surgery.

Dr: It's incredible. A miracle, really.

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This FANTASTIC news really makes it much easier to continue pounding laxatives for the next year (long story.) And when I do get around to another pregnancy, you can bet your life's savings that I will begin scarfing milk of magnesia waaaay before I deliver and for a lonnnnnng time after. Lesson learned!

Oh, and I will not be having a colonoscopy. Praise Jesus!

Why?

Why is it, that when you're about to have a medical procedure done, people feel compelled to tell you just how awful of an experience you're about to have?

My CT scan is in a couple of hours, and it really perturbs me the number of people who have "warned" me that the barium liquid is terrible. I know it is terrible. I have sat through the procedure a number of times with my brother, watched him steel his nerves against vomiting on the carpet, etc. As it is I am fasting so that gives me a headache. And I'm terribly concerned Lincoln will decide to stop nursing since he will have to take a bottle for 24 hours.

So, lots on my mind without the added stress of helpful folks telling me how crappy my procedure will be. Same thing with my colonoscopy. Like, I didn't need you to tell me that having epic diarrhea for twelve hours followed by someone shoving a camera up my butt was gonna suck. I sorta figured as much on my own. Sheesh.

My mantra is: someone else is going through a way worse procedure, and I continue to be thankful for modern medicine. Period. Thank you, sweet Jesus, for barium liquid, for cameras to go up butts, and for doctors who committed their lives to looking up butts for their living!

Well, Crap!

I am thinking of re-naming this blog "Debbie Downer Central" because it seems all I have to write about lately is bad stuff. Sigh.

My doctor's office called. To make a long story short, back when I had my gallbladder removed, the e.r. doctor noted some irritation with my colon. We all know I procrastinated on seeing the colon specialist and initially she said I didn't need a colonoscopy, that my issues were related to my fissure. She did say that she would review my CT scan to be sure, but that usually those who don't specialize in the colon don't typically know what they're looking at.

I guess that random dude DID know what he was looking at because now I have to have a colonoscopy. I am kicking myself so hard for waiting so many months. How could I endanger myself this way? I am such a fool. I have a baby that I really want to live to see grow up.

So, now I have to worry about healing up this fissure, only to have a camera shoved up my butt immediately after. Two steps forward, three steps back.

I just keep telling myself I am blessed to live in a country where such medical procedures are available. I could've been born in a Third World country. I could've waited a year instead of 6 months. "Shoulda, woulda, coulda." People are already telling me how awful the bowel prep kit is. Well, I will take it if it means peace of mind and taking care of my health. Going forward I am going to learn from my mistakes and take charge of my health. The alternative is much, much worse.

PLEASE learn from my mistakes and go to the doctor if you need to!