What's Been Going On 'Round These Parts?

Not much to report on around here. We are still doing Kindermusik class and Lincoln seems to love it. He has had extreme acid reflux today so we are on outfit number two, bib number two, etc. I messed up his medicinal syringe somehow and ended up spraying him and me with Prevacid. Disgusting, lemme tell ya!

My aunt is in town visiting, which is nice. She has helped me tremendously with Lincoln and it is nice to get a little break. He slept in our bed last night because after the third attempt at putting him in his cradle, he simply wouldn't cooperate. I know, I know, "bed-sharing is the devil." Whatever. LOL.

If i haven't commented on your blog lately, I'm sorry. I've barely even been able to read. Lincoln is a lot more alert now and spends a lot more time awake so I have to entertain him. He has decided sleeping is for wussies. He has barely napped allllll week and whereas he has always been an excellent sleeper during the night, he suddenly doesn't care to rest.

Question for the moms out there who live in colder weather: how do you keep your baby warm at night without a blanket, but without over-heating them? Last night it was 47 degrees so I put on a fleece jumper (it was very thin but very soft and snuggly) and I put a onesie on underneath it. When he sleeps in bed with me I don't use blankets/linens for obvious reasons but he did have a little bit of sheet covering his feet. When I changed his diaper during the night his feet felt really warm. We didn't turn on the heat because indoors it was 67 degrees and the nurses said to keep the temperature between 68-72 for SIDS prevention. His cradle is on the side of the room where the windows are so there is a slight draft and I am not sure what to do if it gets colder or snows like it did last year....

Awesome!

Just a quick "thank you" for all the great suggestions on meeting new people. Lincoln and I are taking a Kindermusik class in exchange for babysitting for the instructor (my girlfriend from church) and we had a lot of fun. Even being out of the house was nice!

Lincoln really loved the curriculum (as far as I could tell from a 9 week old, LOL) so we are going to look into Music Makers since we live literally next door to an LDS church. Nothing beats FREEEEE!

And of course, meetup.com and the library. The libraries here are gorgeous so I am hoping to get started on instilling a love of reading with Lincoln very soon.

Lastly, I have to address the issue of PPD. I definitely have that on my radar, especially given my prior history of depression. Thank you for gently reminding me that my feelings could be related to that.

I have awesome cyber friends/readers!

P.S. RIP Steve Jobs. I know this doesn't fit with the theme of my post but I seriously HATE cancer.

Lonely

I've been spoiled the last few years with some truly amazing friends. When I moved to Texas, I met even more amazing friends. As forewarning, this isn't a gripe about anyone in my life not doing enough for me so please don't think me an ingrate. I'm just...lonely.

My friendships here are different from what I am used to. The women I met here are loving, beautiful, smart, funny. Everything you would want in a friend. They love on me and my son and I am very thankful for them. But they're different types of friendships than what I had in California.

I miss the invites for lunch, laughing over a rare cocktail (I'm obviously not drinking now anyways, as I'm nursing, it's just the idea), I miss having other couples over for dinner and being invited over. It's harder for me to entertain here since I live with my family but surely if I were invited somewhere I would make an excellent dinner guest. A girl's night would do wonders for my spirit.

I want so desperately to acclimate but I must confess to being incredibly depressed. I don't want to be one of those needy, clingy people who invites themselves to things. And just as I had in California, I assume most of my friends have their long-standing inner circles and it is awkward to infiltrate. That's not to say anybody has been uninviting, it just becomes a matter of if it is a church activity, I am invited, but I don't get any invites for non-church stuff.

And really, my friends here bring a lot to my life and I don't expect them to be my entertainment committee. It really isn't about people not doing things for me, I'm just trying to communicate that I understand that most adults have different groups they socialize and sometimes it isn't often they mix. I don't want my friends to feel put upon and I don't want to invite myself to things.

Spending so much time indoors with Lincoln hasn't helped. I wouldn't change it but I do have some cabin fever. If I had few invites before, I have none now. Lincoln got an invite for a little friend's birthday party and even though I was in pain I busted my ass to make it there because I was so desperate for social interaction.

I just feel so sad. I'm starting a Kindermusik class with Lincoln this week and I will definitely try to find a mom's group on meetup.com but people have only had negative reactions to the mom's group idea thus far. Apparently the moms can be pretty clique-y. I know some women say they're closer friends with males but I am the opposite. I love female friendship/companionship. I just want someone to get a pedicure with or share a meal. I'm just going to try the groups and put myself out there, even if it turns out to be a bad idea. I figure I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I don't want the friends I do have here to feel burdened by me so it is imperative I find something else to occupy my friendship longings.

I just feel so sad and so lonely. It's crippling, really.

Part of my problem is I need to stop living in the past and remembering California. California is over and we live here now. Rob and I feel like we've been trying so incredibly hard to make friends that we must come across as desperate. Nobody wants to hang out with that! I just need to focus on making new friendships. Summer was practically awful for us because we had no invites for the 4th of July, the long holiday weekends, etc. One time someone invited us to their pool but otherwise we had not one BBQ, etc. We both have birthdays coming and I think we are not admitting to each other how depressed it makes us thinking we might not get to celebrate.

OK, time to get out of my own head and end this post. If you made it this far, you deserve a cyber cookie, LOL.