Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Gah! Guilt!

I promise I am working on Lincoln's birth story! I wanted to include lots of the pictures we took from the day as well as some recent ones, but as things happen to go I use a MAC and I am not quite sure of what I am doing. My usual go-to person offered some suggestions so as soon as I get a moment I will finish it up before I forget. As it is, I birthed a baby who doesn't like to sleep so free time is few and far between.

And, um, motherhood is HARD. I am frequently second-guessing myself. More so, when I am unable to soothe him I really feel insecure. I don't think I know him well enough to know what is wrong some times.

In other news, breast feeding is going really well. I am almost 7 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight. I also credit the Belly Bandit for saving my guts, literally. I underestimated how much loose skin would jiggle during every day activities such as moving or laughing. I know a lot of people think compression binding is silly but it holds my guts in place and makes me feel like my incision is safe and secure.

I also never posted my final week of pregnancy post. The guilt is killing me over all this so I just keep reminding myself I am doing the best I can. It is more important to be present in the moment with my son than worry about the other stuff, right? Right! Aside from the blog, I have started my own personal journal to recall his milestones, my random thoughts, etc. so that has been getting a bit more attention.

More to come...


  1. Oh my... where to begin! First of all, it is always so much harder the first time around because you just don't know what you are doing and everything is new. The biggest lesson I learned with Alexa is that it's quite alright to let them cry a bit. With the second, you have no choice but to let them cry here and there because you have another child who has needs as well. Within a week, Alexa was a great baby who learned pretty quickly to only cry when she needed something. I do realize she was a rare baby, but I also think it was partially my mentality with her.

    If he cries for no apparent reason and you've already tried feeding, changing and swaddling/soothing, just put him down on a blanket or in the swing and let him cry. I know it's easier said than done, but babies have to learn to self-sooth a bit.

    Great news on the breastfeeding! That is the biggest challenge for most new moms. I'm so glad it's going well for you. I always wanted to try the belly bandit, but my hospital would only give them out for c-section patients, so I couldn't get one. Now I find out that you can just order them online, which I think I will do this time. I (hopefully) won't have an incision to worry about, but I hated that feeling for weeks after the birth of just having your guts hanging out and all squishy.

  2. It is okay, take care you and your family first.

  3. I completely feel the same way about second guessing yourself when it comes to some things. I actually had my first good cry the other day & was convinced that I was ALREADY a bad mother. Ah....gotta love those hormones. =) Hang in there! The blog can definitely wait. All your loyal readers will definitely still be here when you have the time to share. Congrats again on baby Lincoln! He's beautiful.