Thursday, February 28, 2013

Why I Never Blog

So, blogging has really taken a backseat in my life. I had to stop and consider why that is, as I love to write. Writing does SO MUCH for my soul, it is odd to me that I could be able to turn my back on my tiny slice of the internet.

I guess it all boils down to this: I am trying to be a different person. A more positive, thankful person.

That is really difficult to do when bad things are happening. And really, bad things happen to ALL people so it is not like I'm special. I just don't feel like it is appropriate to complain non-stop. I like to read that kind of stuff but I really don't want to burden others with it, or have that become my identity. "Mrs. Herbie the Complainer." Not cute.

But thoughts? I definitely have thoughts!

I went to my OB because I thought I was having hormonal issues. Turns out my liver enzymes are doing weird stuff. But my hormones seem OK.

I've put on too much weight. Again.

My OB ordered an ultrasound. I really figured it would be a formality, not to mention a waste of my time and money. Except, they found something. And now the doctor insists I come in to discuss what they found and "treatment options." Which, hellooooooo scary!

And the timing is off, because for the first time in, well, ever, I feel like I want another baby. But not if I have cancer, and not if I'm too fat to be healthy. Blah, blah, blah.

And in the midst of this we are trying to buy that same house from two months ago. And we had to give up what feels like a lot during our negotiations. So every day I have to drive down to the property to inspect repairs (or lack thereof.) And the entire thing gives me tremendous anxiety, which, is lame considering this is a First World Problem.

Lincoln was injured by another child at music class yesterday and we had to spend $100 we didn't have on various doctors to rule out damage to his cornea. I am still emotionally exhausted from it all.

So, this was my chance to vent/whine. I'm over myself. I know an occasional complaint is healthy, but I want my blog to be about glorifying what is good.

  • I am married.
  • We are in a position to buy a home. As I have said before, this wouldn't have been possible in California, and certainly not a home of the size/caliber of what we will get here. 
  • Lincoln is healthy. 
  • Mr. Herbie is gainfully employed and able to support us. 
  • There is food on our table, a roof over our head. We were born in a country where we can see a specialist if we need to. We are able to read. The list of crap I take for granted is lonnnnnng, friends. 

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