Stoopid Google Blogger

A few years ago during one of the many changes at Google, they did an update to Blogger and asked if I would like to update my dashboard or keep the old style. Being the non-fan of change that I am, I selected the old style. Well, they have gone and changed it again and since I'm old-skewl, my dashboard SUCKS. Like, I can't even spell-check my posts. All my post options are gone. There is no spacing between my paragraphs, etc. Everything is haywire! Does anyone know what to do to fix it? Ugly posts are making me hesitant to post. Bahumbug. Ha! Please send help!

House Hunting

So, we're house hunting and all that jazz. It's about time we lived like grown-ups instead of perpetually renting from my parents. I was just looking at the MLS for our desired areas, and boy is it bad! I would not want to be a realtor! I mean, you shouldn't have to tell people certain things. If you have a mirror on your ceiling in the master, I will not be able to get the image of your constant sexcapades out of my mind. If you have animal feces everywhere or it looks like you have never owned a vacuum, I am going to insist you install new flooring. That hurts your bottom line! I will have a hard time envisioning my own junk in the place if I can't even see the space due to your hoarding piles covering every square inch. Guess it's time to dust off the old imagination! :(

I'm Still Alive

So, 2012 has been one of the most difficult of my life. I have retreated in many aspects, including blogging (obvi.) But, I can't live my life under a rock, and if you'll have me, I'd like to make a return to blogging. I don't have much that I can report on in regards to what, exactly, was sucking the life out of me. But, I am better now. And I am getting better every day. So, I intend to continue writing and continue commenting on your blogs. Love and miss you all!

Lincoln

I still desperately need a hiatus, but since I always promise an update on Lincoln and never deliver, I figured I'd share the photo that will be on his birthday invite. I can't believe he is already 11 months old!

Blah

I'm in a bad place right now, and I think it would be best if I didn't blog about it. So, a slight hiatus it is. I'll be back. P.S. I absolutely despise cryptic blog posts but trust me that I need to keep my thoughts to myself. Thanks.

Here I Am!

Man, it feels like forever and a day since I have posted anything over here. Lots of things have happened, in no particular order: * Rob's truck was totalled. He is taking it very hard. We are now down to one car and having to make some serious financial decisions. * I am now teaching classes that include CPR for infants and adults. I really enjoy it and am thankful for the opportunity. The one downside fo the job is that I am always worried I am not a good teacher. I don't know where the insecurity comes from other than I am an insecure person by nature. * I am debating on signing Lincoln up for swim lessons. Any thoughts? My mom is convinced he will get ear infections, and several other moms have told me it is a waste this young. It is literally not an option to not swim during summer here and I want him to know how to stay safe. Hmn.... * We took it upon ourselves to lower Paris's dosage on her anti-seizure medicine and she is back to being her spritely self again. I don't want her to have another seizure but her quality of lie is compromised beign so drugged out. * Lincoln is standing on his own for brief stints. Where did my tiny, squishy baby go? I promised to put a new picture up of him and now it is time for his quarterly photo to be taken again so I will just post one of those, probably. He is sooo cute!

Moms, Give Me Your Advice

Lincoln is 8.5 months old and does not sleep through the night. He has a bedtime routine and always goes to bed at the same time. On a good night he will wake up once, and then again for the day some time after 6:30. On a bad night he might be up several times.

In the past week I have allowed him to CIO if he has been up within the hour.

Generally speaking, CIO is not always a winner with him. I am learning that it works with some kids, not all, and that it is not to be relied on as a tried-and-true strategy for us.

Lately I am reading conflicting information from various doctors on when it is appropriate for a child to sleep through the night. I haven't asked my physician, but he was the one who told me to CIO to begin with so I am thinking that is what he might say. I have read from multiple sources that breastfed babies never fully sleep through the night till they are weaned.

When he only wakes once, I don't mind it too much. I know it won't be forever. I'm just not sure how I feel. He is stirring as I write this and he has been down for a mere hour. I read an article last week where the physician author said that babies do not have coping skills prior to 9 months so basically you're just hoping they wear themselves out.

I know I have sought advice on naps before, and we are doing better in that department, but I would really like to know what other nursing moms have experienced. (I know formula babies burn their food off slower.)

An Update

I went to the doctor yesterday regarding my, ahem, "issues. Here is the conversation as best I recall it:

Dr: So, no bleeding, no pain, etc.?

Me: Nope.

(The she examines me.)

Dr: Huh.

Me: Uh...?

Dr: Well, you had one of the most severe tears I've seen. I really figured we'd be scheduling you a surgery today. I didn't think the treatment plan would work.

Me: Uh...?

Dr: Well, you're healed. I didn't think you would!

Me: I'm glad you have a good poker face! I would've been despondent at the thought of another surgery.

Dr: It's incredible. A miracle, really.

**************************************

This FANTASTIC news really makes it much easier to continue pounding laxatives for the next year (long story.) And when I do get around to another pregnancy, you can bet your life's savings that I will begin scarfing milk of magnesia waaaay before I deliver and for a lonnnnnng time after. Lesson learned!

Oh, and I will not be having a colonoscopy. Praise Jesus!

Why?

Why is it, that when you're about to have a medical procedure done, people feel compelled to tell you just how awful of an experience you're about to have?

My CT scan is in a couple of hours, and it really perturbs me the number of people who have "warned" me that the barium liquid is terrible. I know it is terrible. I have sat through the procedure a number of times with my brother, watched him steel his nerves against vomiting on the carpet, etc. As it is I am fasting so that gives me a headache. And I'm terribly concerned Lincoln will decide to stop nursing since he will have to take a bottle for 24 hours.

So, lots on my mind without the added stress of helpful folks telling me how crappy my procedure will be. Same thing with my colonoscopy. Like, I didn't need you to tell me that having epic diarrhea for twelve hours followed by someone shoving a camera up my butt was gonna suck. I sorta figured as much on my own. Sheesh.

My mantra is: someone else is going through a way worse procedure, and I continue to be thankful for modern medicine. Period. Thank you, sweet Jesus, for barium liquid, for cameras to go up butts, and for doctors who committed their lives to looking up butts for their living!

A Letter

Dear Everyone Asking When I'm Going to Have Another Baby,

First and foremost, how rude! There are several reasons why you should never ask someone such a question and they include (but are not limited to) fertility issues, sex issues and money issues. But! Since you asked, I am going to answer.

I believe with all my heart that you owe it to your kids to be the best you can be. This means doing your best to raise them properly. Now, Lincoln is only 8 months old. If I were to be pregnant, that would mean having two children under the age of two. Now, plenty of people love that scenario and for many it works. Let me be clear: I could not be the best possible mother with two kids that close in age.

I just couldn't.

It would be a disservice to my offspring. More power to ya if that is your deal, but to be my best for them, I need some spacing.

And another thing! Baby making is supposed to be fun. To be honest, we are not yet back to fun. Because Lincoln is still almost exclusively breast fed, and in combination with lovely hormones, I suffer the same issue as most menopausal women. Yeah, I'm lucky like that. So, with my sex life in the (temporary) crapper, it is highly unlikely I will be having that oh-so-special baby making sex. (Aren't you glad you read my blog so you can get guaranteed TMI posts in your feed? No. Harumph.)

And last but certainly not least, I am broke. So broke, in fact, that I probably qualify for public assistance. I don't believe you should accept benefits unless you really need them, so for now I haven't collected. But my point here is that if I can barely afford the kid I have now, I don't really have any business making another one. When the glorious day arrives that we no longer live with my parents, and are more financially stable, I will hurriedly get knocked up.

We do want more kids in the future, but in the meantime we are enjoying the infant we still have. I'm so glad you're happy that you knocked out a grip of kids consecutively. I also appreciate you think I have the mettle to do the same. But please, for the love of all that is Holy, do not ask me at the zoo in front of 5 other women, at church, in the grocery store (I'm looking at you, Strangers!) or any other time for that matter. Procreation is personal. I don't mind sharing certain things in private, but as someone who didn't get pregnant the very second they started trying, I really wish you'd stop asking when Blessing #2 is scheduled to make an appearance.

Signed,

Happy With What I've Already Got