I Know, I Know

Just a quick thought:

I have come to realize that exactly what I expected would happen, is happening. I am so frazzled that I neglect to take my weekly belly photos on the actual day I turn over.

I am making a promise to myself that tomorrow will be that last time I photograph late. This project is important to me and important to posterity.

If I get behind, please nag me till I get it together. I need some form of accountability.



***Since the few minutes since I posted about gaining weight, I decided to indulge in 1/2 the brownie I was given at a church luncheon. Yeah, I need mental help.

The Glory Days Are O-vah!

It happened.

I finally gained some weight.

4 pounds! Yikes! I'd better slow down. I don't understand-I'm not even 14 weeks yet so I'm not considered 2nd trimester. I thought gaining weight in the 1st trimester was a major no-no?

I need to slow it down! I've been eating pretty well but I suspect not often enough. Thus, time to tweak my diet even further. I keep fixating on having to get rid of the baby weight on top of the other weight I desire to shed and I get overwhelmed so I really need to fixate on gaining low and slow.

Wish me luck?

So, Where's All This Great Sex You Guys Rave About?

Let's talk "pregnancy sex." I have heard lots of women tell me it is a glorious time filled with multiple orgasms and unicorns and fairy dust.

If I'm being real, I will admit it has been over a month since we had sex. The first part was due to the spotting issues, and then life threw me some emotional curve balls from which I had difficulty recovering.

And you know what? I'm not in the mood. The only time of day I feel queasy is in the evenings, and I'm pretty much a blob.

I am really hoping that as I progress into the second trimester, my libido makes a return.

It is not my intention to turn into one of "those couples." You know the ones? They have sex so infrequently that it becomes a habit. A sexless marriage is not a habit I want.

I owe myself and Rob more than that.

Huh.

So I was chatting with my mom and mentioned a friend was thinking of hosting a baby shower for me in May. She got a sour look on her face and asked why May was chosen. I explained that I need to be able to fly, etc. and with the blood clotting issues I was doubtful I could do so in the summer, closer to my due date.

She crinkled her nose again even though I confirmed I was happy with the month.

Then she asked if it would be in TX or CA and I explained CA since I don't know anyone (literally) in TX.

More nose wrinkling.

I was sort've shocked at her reaction so I asked, incredulously, 'So were you not planning to go?'

She proceeded to count the months til May and the just shrugged her shoulders.

I can't lie-I'm hurt.

My dad is stoked for his first grand baby but short of lecturing me, my mom hasn't shown much interest. I know she has other (important) things on her mind but... I feel slighted.

I feel like since she showed such a negative reaction that if she suddenly decided she wanted to come, I wouldn't even be into it because I would feel like she was going against her will or for the wrong reasons.

I'm not really pregnant enough to be thinking of showers or registries but considering the amount of work that would need to go into coordination, it is prudent to think on the most basic level.

Hopefully I am reading into it all wrong and this is all in my head. I'm doubtful but I can hope. It really feels like my pregnancy (her first grand baby) is an afterthought. I'm over feeling that way. From today forward, I am going to rejoice and celebrate and give myself the attention I obviously won't be getting elsewhere. I am lucky to have people who are interested and who do want me to feel special so I am choosing to focus on those warm feelings.

Blugh. I am so over myself. Hopefully it is the pregnancy hormones because my last couple of blogs are bumming me out and I don't want to turn into a whiner. Nobody likes a whiner. Time to put on my big girl panties and move on.

The One Thing I Miss

I wanted to be pregnant for so long, that I'm pretty much grateful for any symptom I experience. A lot of people speak of what they miss during pregnancy. I will happily give up lunch meant, seafood and alcohol but there is one thing I really miss:

Pooping.

Sorry. I had to go there. I have tried lots of fruit, vegetables and even probiotics.

Nothin'.

Short of eating an entire box of Raisin Bran in one sitting, I need some help.

Do any of you moms know what I can do to get the plumbing moving again? I almost cried on the toilet today.

What A Difference A Few Days Make!

I was still on the fence about getting the NT scan as of this morning but by the time I got around to showering it was a mere 3 hours prior to the appointment and since they are so hard to come by, I felt it would be inconsiderate and unprofessional to cancel so close to the appointment. I also chalked it up to another chance to see the Puerto Rican Jumping Bean.

Here is a picture of the baby sucking its thumb (it is more obvious on the hard copy):



Here is a picture of it waving:



Here is a picture of it kicking its feet:



The Puerto Rican Jumping Bean still vaguely resembled an alien just last Wednesday so it is miraculous to me how quickly it is looking like a "real" baby!

P.S. Can everyone please cross their fingers it doesn't get my nose? That would not be cute! Rob has a much better nose!

The Fetus With the Mostest

I have a confession: usually when people upload pictures from their ultrasound, I think the baby looks like either an alien or a blob. Well, mine has moved from the blob phase to the alien phase. Nevertheless, this is my journal and my friend Rachel said she wanted to see this sort of stuff. So! This is our baby. It did NOT want to be photographed (already like its parents!) During the ultrasound it did a somersault and was dancing. When it dances the arms and legs are very pronounced, unlike in this picture where it decided to curl into a ball. If you are like me and need some direction, the head is on the left (the alien-looking seed-thingy) and the four brightly-colored parts are its limbs.

To be noted-when the doctor showed us the baby, I yelled out 'It's our person!' and Rob was in such awe he literally said nothing. Men and women are so different!

12 Weeks

Pregnancy Highlights:
How Far Along: 12 Weeks
Size of baby: The Puerto Rican Jumping Bean is the size of a large plum
Total Weight Gain/Loss: Down about 7 pounds.
Maternity Clothes: I bought one of those Be-Bands but it didn't work well so I am still using a hair-tye to keep my pants shut. Some still fit and I'm in no rush to buy anything.
Gender: Unknown (just the way I like it!)
Movement: If I lay flat on my back I can see my stomach moving and Rob has witnessed it, too.
Sleep: I'm a chronic insomniac, anyway, so the only change is that now I have to get up to pee on occasion.
What I miss: We are going to The Melting Pot for Valentine's day and I won't be able to have one of their Love martinis.
Cravings: First it was French toast, then Asian food.
Symptoms: Random growing pains that terrify me for the first thirty seconds. Plus, the Lovenox shots burn like poison!
Best Moment this week: Seeing the baby in all its healthy glory on our first ultrasound.


***This is not a good picture. I am actually wearing a sweater that is too large so it gives me credit where none is due. Plus, I am pushing my stomach out so you can actually see something under the tent of a sweater. Next time I will wear something more form-fitting. Oh! And Paris insisted on being in EVERY picture for some reason, which is odd considering she hates to have her photo taken. Therefore, I am holding my first baby while carrying my first human baby. I am a VERY non-photogenic person so I am posting this picture despite my reservations in hopes that 1. I will appreciate it when I am old and 2. I will be able to see my own beauty as I age and mature. Lastly, I was 12 weeks on Wednesday but just figured out how to upload pictures today.

A Conversation

The doctor to Rob: So, what do you do for a living?

Rob: I'm a mechanic.

The doctor: Oh, well, I fancy myself a mechanic of sorts, too.



**At least she maintains a sense of humor!

Nuchal Translucency Screening

Did you moms out there do the NT scan? I am really torn and need to decide by Monday because that is when I am scheduled to do it. Obviously I wouldn't be terminating if anything shows up, but my doctor said it is good to be prepared for what may happen during and after birth.

I would really, really appreciate your thoughts on this. I am literally on the fence about 60/40.