Cancer.

I am pretty over cancer.

Let's do a rundown:

• My brother is cancer-free yet had to have a surgery that forever negatively impacted his life. 
• My aunt was dead within a month of her diagnosis this past September. 
• My grandmother presently has cancer. 
• Learned last week that a dear friend also has cancer. In her lifetime she has lost a baby, had another son get cancer, only to lose that son to murder. Her son was one of my dearest friends and I can't imagine the grief she has endured in her lifetime. 

So, yeah, I am over cancer. I feel overwhelmed today. 

"Just"

So, here are a few things I believe about prayer:

1. There is nothing we can say that God doesn't already know. 
2. A prayer doesn't have to be long. In fact, I have heard good arguments for why they should not be long. There are books on the subject, etc. 
3. It's OK to pray for a long time because prayer should be a part of your relationship and therefore say what you need to say. 
4. God hears every prayer. Every single one of them, big or small. 
5. Your prayers matter to God!!

I have noticed that many, many people use the word "just" while praying. I am not judging their prayers but I find it curious. An example would be, "I just want to lift So-and-So up to you in prayer." "I just want to ask for your guidance, Lord."

Specifically, I am referring to when the word "just" is used as an adverb. See the meaning?

adverb

12. only or merely: He was just a clerk until he became ambitious.

 

I don't like it. No prayer is "just" a prayer. A prayer is a petition. It is important. It rubs me the wrong way when people use "just" in prayer because I feel like it cheapens what they're saying. 

 

And there's nothing cheap about prayer! I guess I just have to get over it because it is a very common thing to do. 

 

 

Busy Boy!

My kid has a much more active social life than I ever imagined. Before he was born I told myself I wouldn't over-schedule him and wear him out. But now that he is here, I never want him to miss out on anything fun. If we sit home all day he goes off the rails with boredom. He isn't in school yet so I feel an obligation of sorts to ensure he has fun stuff to do.

I really overdid it this week, but not for him, for me. My body is so sore I can barely move! As a consequence of our busy days, he has not napped all week so we have butted heads quite a bit, but one pre-birth promise I have actually kept is that our lives would not revolve around napping. We are definitely flexible!

Here is an exhausting run down:

Monday - Gymnastics followed by lunch with friends. Then we visited family and ran errands.

Tuesday - We went to Toddler Tuesday at the aquarium followed by lunch and shopping.

Wednesday - Kindermusik class and errands.

Thursday - Kindermusik class, lunch with friends, errands.

Friday - Disney on Ice,  visit to Gas Monkey Garage,  lunch at restaurant of same name, visit to my mom's office, errands, out to eat for dinner.

Saturday - Easter event that included face painting, bounce house humping, train riding, egg hunting, waiting for a balloon animal, meeting the Easter bunny and playing at the park where the event was located. Then we ran more errands. Today I was also not lazy (for once) and cleaned out his closet and did a bunch of laundry.

I feel like death and next week is already booking up. Yay/boo.

It Doesn't Get Easier!

Naming a child, that is!

We are still at the drawing board for this little girl. As in, we don't even have anything to disagree over. I see lots of "nice" names but nothing that I feel passionate about or attracted to for my girl.

Of course, lots of people have suggestions. Too bad none of them are my style! Some are just downright awful but I never feel good saying that.

Hopefully we can come up with something before we leave the hospital! ;)

Wowza!

I'm back. I keep meaning to blog, really I do!

Baby #2 is doing tons and tons of flips in my stomach while I type. I forgot how creepy and awe-inspiring it is at the same time. While it is happening I think, 'Wowza! This is odd!' But then if she doesn't kick for a while, I get worried!

And yes, you read correctly- SHE!

We are having a girl! This was the surprise of the century for us. I was convinced it was a boy! We are having an extremely difficult time naming her. Girl names are ten times harder than boy names!

So...if you have any suggestions, send them my way!

It's 2014

I am contemplating a return to blogging. When you blog for a living, it sort've sucks the joy out of blogging for personal use, but I miss it. I also miss so many of the blogs I used to read to keep up with friends IRL and internet friends.

With baby number two on the way, I feel sad to think I won't have the same record of my journey that I did with Lincoln. So, we'll see. Time will tell. Maybe I will find a voice again.

I am currently just over 15 weeks pregnant. When I was pregnant with Lincoln, I instinctively knew the second I peed on the stick that he would be a boy. This time I have no inclination whatsoever. Mr. Case is convinced it is a girl. He only wants to discuss girl names. Ha!

Like last time, I do not want to find out the sex beforehand but he is insistent. I will likely relent but I already told him that if we're blessed with a third baby, we are NOT finding out!

I have been sick as a dog this time around. I have spent the last few months living on my couch. Poor Lincoln has not had the fun quality of life he had pre-pregnancy. Let the mom guilt begin!

Anyway, hope to see some of you around!

Nooooo!

Google is retiring their Google Reader. This is epicly terrible news! Whatever will I do to stay informed?

Phew!

I had my doctor appointment this week. I have so much else going on that I forgot to alert anyone who may have been curious as to the status. The polyp was gone! I suppose it was re-absorbed. Whatever the case, I don't care. Adios, Sayonara, Peace Out Polyp!

God is so good. 

Some Relief

Well, I saw the doctor today and I would say it was a good appointment. She told me she doesn't think it is cancer, and that it has nothing to do with any of the other things I was concerned about. She also told me not to stress about my liver enzyme problem.

I am going to get another ultrasound on Tuesday (ugh) and if the polyp is still there, I will have a procedure where they basically put me to sleep and scrape out my insides. Lovely!

I am trying to remind myself to be thankful I live in a country with access to medical care. Could be so much worse. Hopefully the procedure won't be too expensive, as I already have medical bills coming from every direction.

If I needed motivation to get healthy before, I certainly have it now!

Why I Never Blog

So, blogging has really taken a backseat in my life. I had to stop and consider why that is, as I love to write. Writing does SO MUCH for my soul, it is odd to me that I could be able to turn my back on my tiny slice of the internet.

I guess it all boils down to this: I am trying to be a different person. A more positive, thankful person.

That is really difficult to do when bad things are happening. And really, bad things happen to ALL people so it is not like I'm special. I just don't feel like it is appropriate to complain non-stop. I like to read that kind of stuff but I really don't want to burden others with it, or have that become my identity. "Mrs. Herbie the Complainer." Not cute.

But thoughts? I definitely have thoughts!

I went to my OB because I thought I was having hormonal issues. Turns out my liver enzymes are doing weird stuff. But my hormones seem OK.

I've put on too much weight. Again.

My OB ordered an ultrasound. I really figured it would be a formality, not to mention a waste of my time and money. Except, they found something. And now the doctor insists I come in to discuss what they found and "treatment options." Which, hellooooooo scary!

And the timing is off, because for the first time in, well, ever, I feel like I want another baby. But not if I have cancer, and not if I'm too fat to be healthy. Blah, blah, blah.

And in the midst of this we are trying to buy that same house from two months ago. And we had to give up what feels like a lot during our negotiations. So every day I have to drive down to the property to inspect repairs (or lack thereof.) And the entire thing gives me tremendous anxiety, which, is lame considering this is a First World Problem.

Lincoln was injured by another child at music class yesterday and we had to spend $100 we didn't have on various doctors to rule out damage to his cornea. I am still emotionally exhausted from it all.

So, this was my chance to vent/whine. I'm over myself. I know an occasional complaint is healthy, but I want my blog to be about glorifying what is good.

• I am married.
• We are in a position to buy a home. As I have said before, this wouldn't have been possible in California, and certainly not a home of the size/caliber of what we will get here. 
• Lincoln is healthy. 
• Mr. Herbie is gainfully employed and able to support us. 
• There is food on our table, a roof over our head. We were born in a country where we can see a specialist if we need to. We are able to read. The list of crap I take for granted is lonnnnnng, friends.